Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Worry of the Day

Sometimes I am so tired at night that I fall asleep without taking my prenatal vitamins and calcium. Am I going to ruin the baby? Concerned in a vague sort of way.

I'm also waiting for Kaiser to call me back and schedule my first appointment with them in December. I'm excited for it, because I'm hoping to do another ultrasound that day, and confirm the gender of this little sprout.

Okay, busy day at work. Back to business...

Friday, November 19, 2010

Happy Halfway Mark (and yesterday post th at I forgot to put up)

Happy Halfway Mark!! (Today)
Hello small creature!  You're halfway done! Congratulations on making it this far! You're starting to move more and more, and you're filling out the maternity clothes I have rather nicely. You're also giving me heartburn pretty much every day, which really isn't fair of you.

I have a coworker who is driving me nuts. I have heard this woman talk about how she never wants to have kids. She has a great relationship with her niece but doesn't want to have kids herself. So, of course, she takes it as her duty to lecture me all about how I should be eating spinach and kale and chard (shit that I wouldn't be eating anyway, except the spinach) and practically gives me dirty looks in the lunch room when I eat chips with my sandwich or something. First of all, she swears she's a health nut, and is trying to impose what amounts to a religion on someone with different beliefs. And second of all, pregnancy isn't for her, but she damn sure knows all about how to do it better than I do. You know how much I hate confrontation -- do I send an email about something like this? Like, Hi there, I know you mean well, but I have been reading the pregnancy books and talking to my doctor, and if anyone is going to give me advice on what to eat, it really ought to be him. 

Poop.

Still marking off the days on my calendar until ultrasound day. Five more to go!!!


Fears and Other Demons -- November 18, 2010
I’m starting to have moments of paranoia. Right now, my biggest fear is that we’ll go to the ultrasound on Wednesday with everyone there all excited to find out what the sex is, and instead, we’ll find out that it’s died. There’s no reason for me to think that, other than the fact that I don’t feel it moving much yet. But I do feel it moving, and every time I do, I’m like, yay, it IS still alive. I’m sure these aren’t uncommon fears, but they still suck. I just want him/her to be okay and healthy and doing his/her thing, regardless of whether it’s Max or Violet.

Speaking of names, I’ve made sure to tell Shawn that, once we do determine who’s in there, that baby is immediately going to become either "Max" or "Violet" to me, so if he isn’t sure about either of those names, now is the time to tell me and start thinking about something else. Because I’m not sure I could change it once I get attached to my Little Bean as one or the other.

I had a good day of healthy eating yesterday, capped by a delicious Mexican dinner. …sigh… I’m getting there, I swear! And Shawn and I both forgot that we’d wanted to workout last night. I was so exhausted that when we got home from dinner I sat on the couch with my laptop on the lap desk to write, and promptly fell asleep to the sounds of Shawn’s SoComm game, or however that’s spelled.

I got some money from dear old Dad to do some more maternity clothes shopping, and Shawn’s mom, Julie, is apparently gifting me with some as well. Thanks!!!! It’s so very appreciated, especially as I’m growing out of things so quickly. Lots of what I got from Nicole and Kim need little things to make them work right – a belt for this super cute dress from Kim, to keep my top half from melding with my belly as they both expand; flats to replace the heels that make up my shoe collection; a good winter coat; and so on.